Week 1 Newsletter

LAKENHEATH FANTASY FBALL 2009 Week 1 Newsletter News:
-Nitros Nannies spend 1/5 of their season budget to aquire CLEV defense and drop his 2 backup QBS.
-New team this year- Welcome to the Shark tank “Caddy-lick Slims”. Unfortunately he knows Bobby so that will explain his 3-10 finish this year.
-Returning Super Bowl Champs start draft QB-TE-DEF-QB. Hmmm can anyone say 0-13? His first pick was Matt Schuab who when he heard the news of which Fantasy team he was on promptly, tripped running out of bounds and is questionable for the rest of the season. (OK Wk 1)
-Other Owners file protest with the league for allowing Hog to draft for Cruisers (KUZ) and YellowFins (Tuna). Ned Rudd commented in the protest paperwork, “It’s not fair when someone with superior football knowledge to Kuz and Tuna (Like Hog) is allowed to draft for them. Next year we want Melissa to draft for them both.”

REMINDER: THURSDAY game next week (10 Sep). So start or bench all your Thursday players as appropriate before the start of the game

Weekly Awards:
The Vince Lombardi "great Coaching decision" award goes to...........

The "I must have started the wrong guy award".

The "even my sister knows better" award goes to

Most points scored this week (winner of $10){Note this is an increase from last year}

Lowest points scored this week ...

Last year Swami was 72-28 for the season (a .720 W/L record) and in the Lead Pipe of the Week was 10-6, while the harder (STS) upset of the week he was 8-8. He also predicted was uncanny accuracy (he is the Prodigious Prognosticator) the following:
“Army of Five cannot win their way out of a wet paperbag. Put it in the books 0-13”.

“Woody’s Warlocks have drafted a fine team that should contend for the SB”

“Nitro will make more transaction in 2008 then Jessica Simpson has boyfriends”

Swami Predictions Line for Week 1
Slams Slammers vs Crestview Crushers-There is a term for something like this where I come from. It is called an ASS Whipping. Best team in the league faces a middle of the road team and the hurt is gonna hurt. Slammers +9 on their way to 13-0

Sammy’s Slayers vs Cadillac Slim-Normally we welcome the new guy into the league with an easy matchup. Oops someone forgot to tell the scheduler that. Slim brings his no RB team into face last years Power House and Sammy is gonna let him have it with Rodgers-B Jacobs and Calvin Johson. Ouch! Slayers +7

Spikings vs Tok’s Terminators-Spikings smell blood and know that a good start is the key to this league. They are licking the lips thinkign about the tiny Terminators who limp into visit in week 1. Spikings +10

Neds Nutters vs Nitros Namby Pambies-Finally an even match up. Peyton Manning and AP are all I need to know to declare this one over before it starts. Nitro +4

Purveyors of Pain vs Woodys Warlocks-Ever wonder what would happen if Daryl and his other brother Daryl were to meet in a fight to the death. Watch and learn as these to nemesis (SP?) face off. Woodys lovely bride Ellie just had a baby so Woody is not gonna even see this PAIN TRAIN A COMING……….whoo whoooooooo POP +4

Yellowfins vs Cowboys-Another good matchup. The YellowBellies have committed themselves to this season and the Cowboys seem to have lost a step in the offseason. The young in’s sneak a win off the old man and set the trend for 2009 UPSET Yellowfins+1

Cruisers vs Army of Five AOF is deployed so his attention span may not be as good as it should. But even that is no excuse as his team is just overpowered by a resurgent Cruisers tired of losing. 1-0 for the Cruisers. Cruisers +3

NEW FEATURE........NEW FEATURE

ASK Bubba
Dear Bubba.
I like to pick my starters based on the color of their uniforms. I always favor blue over red, white over black etc. what do you think of my fantasy style?
Signed Woody

Well Woody,
It appears to have worked so far for you but in the future you may want to consider an alternative method as a form of second opinion. I suggest having the knots on your head read. Bubba